Back home and opened shop

Hello everyone,

I think that everyone would know this. But if for some strange reason you do not, I have returned home to New York. Life is moving along at a New York speed and I have opened my practice, and it is going better than expected. Here is my website www.albanacupuncture.com.

All the best. And for anyone going to China soon, Zhu ni shun li.

Joe

Xie Xie peng You Men (Thank you Friends)

This week has been a little like the Muppet movies. I go around, make friends, meet people, and then in the end we get together again, see all my friends, and sing songs. I am Kermit, but chubbier. Sitting here in Beijing, I left Changsha this morning, I can take the opportunity to write the last entry into my China Blog thanking my friends and teachers for a wonderful experience in China. (And also Hannah for letting me come and being my China coach). It is another world, with different rules and a greatly different culture. But it is also a fun one with very friendly and hospitable people.

My send off was great, I was as usual running around last minute take care of things, packing, buying presents, and seeing all my friends. Really beginning on Tuesday, but after Friday till now was non-stop. I went out with the fancy government friends on Friday for dinner, then had a party in the dorms with the Japanese guys. Then Saturday went to buy Hunan embroidery ( the area is famous for it) and sang karaoke for only the third time this week. At night my only Chinese hippy friend who goes by the name Li Xiao Long (Bruce Lee's Chinese name) took Henry, Shou, and I out to a dance bar. The music was terrible, but it was the first time I say some gay men in public, they were all getting down. There was a particular feeling of newness and excitement of a clubs in a small town like Changsha.

Then Sunday I packed and my Chinese teacher took me and Henry to eat Mongolian hotpot (if I only knew earlier how good was I be fatter when I came home), then packed some more. At night, I took Henry, Shou and their families, as well as Peng Lei, my translator, to dinner at the famous La Jiao Chao Rou. It is a local restaurant without a name, so people call it by it's famous dish, fried peppers and meat. Peng lei asked me what am I feeling now. I replied " I am feeling as good as one can be now, I made some very good friends, learned allot, had some wonderful experiences, but I am ready to go home because I miss my wife." Henry then ask, " Do you mean you miss your Beijing wife or your Jewish Wife?"

This morning my government friends picked me up in the government car, a black Honda, all my friends came to send me off, I felt like a real politician, shaking hands and kissing babies. It felt great to see all my friends come to send me off, a little like a parade.

I was also thinking what is great about Chinese friends is how seriously they take friendship, too seriously sometimes. (And also my wai guo friends here, maybe luck or maybe learning from Chinese or both). Chinese people are never alone and are always helping each other (and sometimes cheating each other if you do not know them). Yes, my experience was a fantasy world, but what was real was how people did really help me out and were into being friends. Certainly people were interested only because I am American, a Wai guo ren, Jewish, and have a big nose. But also they like to talk, I like to talk, and I am that chubby happy guy that makes everyone laugh. I can't be too complex in Chinese, so I am left with corny jokes.

Tomorrow off to the United States. Thank you and goodnight.

Leaders and VIP's

At 10:10 Fang lao shi (teacher Fang, a teacher and administrator in my program) comes racing into my Chinese class, saying Dr. Huang needs to be at a meeting at the new campus, and I have to end now and quickly go with Dr. Huang. That morning Dr. Huang, the husband of a teacher of mine from America, and a high official in the school here, wanted to take me to the new campus to show me around and say bye before I leave. We were schedule to leave after my Chinese class, at 10:30.

Soon after that, Dr. Huang comes in and very politely asks if we can leave earlier due to his meeting. He is a very modest man and not pushy at all. But when your boss, or "Leader" as they say in China, says we have to go, all of the people below him believe we must go as quickly as possible. After I left class, I went to put my stuff away and find My friend Wendy and translator Peng Lei, who wanted to come with me to the new campus.

I put my stuff away, and I need to go to the bathroom. "Joe, Joe, Joe, come quickly." Fang Lao Shi was banging on my door. I was peeing and I could not finish any quicker. I had drank allot of tea in the morning. Fang Lao Shi rushed me out of my room, barely enough time to fasten my belt, and into Dr. Huang's car. I did not have time to find Wendy or Peng Lei.

Dr. Huang has a brand new car to drive me to the new campus, I was the first guest -and an American at that which made him very happy. He says, " Use the school car service for Peng Lei and Wendy." So as we drive through campus, he sees a graduate student of his, and invites her along to the new campus in the suburbs of Changsha.

We arrived at the new campus, Dr. Huang went to a meeting and I chatted in his enormous office with his grad student. Wendy and Peng Lei then arrive, Dr. Huang gets out of the meeting, and a huge golf cart pulls up. It escorts us around the new campus, real VIP style, too bad I did not see any of my friends. What is amazing is how much infrastructure is put into TCM here. From what I understand, it still does not have as much respect or money as WM, but this is a huage University. It even has a man made lake, a soccer field with real grass, not just concrete, about 15 basketball courts, and indoor gym and pool, as well as huge research and teaching buildings for about 15000 students.

We have lunch in the normal Chinese fashion, in a fancy room off of the cafeteria, with some toasts and too much food. The toasts are fun, it is almost a complimenting contest, who can do it more and who is more modest. One of the doctors even offered to take me to the airport on my last day, and I just met him, very hospitable. And were then driven home, only took about an hour or so, the style of Chinese leaders, pay respects but in a very time efficient manner.

Number One Wai Guo Ren

"Don't lie to me," I said, shaking an eggplant in the face of the small barbecue restaurant's boss. First they tested my knowledge of vegetable names- xiang cai, chie zi, jui cai- and were supplementing with others. I was making sure they did not tell me the wrong names for the foods. "We are all good teachers in Changsha, we wouldn't cheat a foreigner," the boss's wife said.

I sat down to eat and the standard questions began, " where are you from?... what do you do?... how much money do you make in the USA?... how old are you?... why are Americans fat?... All Americans are beautiful right?... do you eat hot pepper? ...have you become accustomed to Chinese food?" and finally, " do you have a girlfriend?"

"No," I replied, and paused a few moments, " I have a wife (literally sweety)."

" In America?" He said. "Do you also have one in Changsha?"

I smiled. " Of course, my second wife is in Changsha... And my third is in Beijing."

The boss's wife laughed and replied, "In China we say one man and one woman." A pause, "Tomorrow come back and bring your your sweety, okay?"

" I can't go out with my Changsha sweety, she is my mimi de lao po (secret sweety). Think about how much trouble it would be from her. In Beijing, I can go out with my number 3 sweety, there are enough foreigners there, I do not stand out. But here I cannot." I pause, " If I come back, will you give me a discount?"

" Okay, a little cheaper."

I continue, "But I can't bring my mimi de lao po. I don't want to give her any problems. I know how bad it is to be famous in China. In Changsha, I am famous. Here, I am the Number One Wai Guo Ren (Foreigner), everyone knows me. You know me, they know me, " pointing across the street, "everyone knows me. Why would I want my sweety to have those problems."

They laugh and say, " Ah, the number one wai guo ren."

The Crotchless Look

A high pitched, single toned whistle can almost constantly be heard in this country. While Chinese people love to sing, it is not part of a song, rather it is the Crotchless Serenade.

Chinese babies all dawn the crotchless look, that is they where crotchless pants. At first look, I thought, "Oh, this family must be very poor to have a baby with a big rip in their pants." Then I noticed the next one, and the next one. After you get accustom to it you realise it is certainly more environmentally friendly, cheaper, and simpiler than diapers, although it must lead the more accidents. I am not yet sure what happens to their little tuchas in the winter.

The China custom for young babies is a sort of early potty training, parents will hold the child over a toilet, garbage can, or anywhere else really, and whistle the Crotchless serenade, lightly blowing on their little huhu or pisher. This lets their babies know it is time to fang bian (literally simple or conveniently, the Chinese euphemism for going to the bathroom). So the next time you hear the whistle, be careful of the tinkle.

Yi Diar Ye Bu La- It is not hot at all

"It is not hot at all," Shou, my Japanese next door neighbor, says as sweat is pours down his face and he coughs up hot pepper. This is what happens when Hunan people invite you to dinner, one mustn't say it is too hot, when in Hunan, do as the Hunan people do and sweat it out. (Especially hard for Japanese people who are known for lighter tastes).

Collin, our friend, invited us to visit him on the new campus of Hunan TCM university. Far out in the suburbs of Changsha, near the farmers and mountains, we entered the front gate to see a huge fountain sculpture of 12 foot tall illuminated acupuncture needles. Collin met us and gave us a tour, the new library with fast computers, the comfortable dorms with only 4 students per room rather than the standard 8 students per room in Chinese university, and the huge new huge foreign student dormitory.

Collin, from a Southern town in Hunan, took us to his hometown style restaurant and ordered "blood duck", a famous dish. I must admit, I was scared of such a name. But then Collin introduced us to a technique of adding bing lang (betel nut), a mild stimulant Hunan people love to eat, into the beers, and this calmed me down a bit. The food came, as well as the sweat.

After the duck came, and a few liters of sweat later, Collin asks, " is it hot?" We all wipe our brow, smile and say, " Yi Diar ye bu la."

Gan Bei

"What are you doing tonight?" a middle aged woman said to me, as she peered over my shoulder in clinic a few weeks ago. "I have an event," I replied.
"Okay, do you have free time tomorrow." "No, I need to study," I replied.
"Okay, how about the next day," she said...

This is how I ended up on a little island in the middle of Dong ting hu, the largest lake in Changsha, drinking snake and turtle bai jiu with many important Hunan government leaders. Bai jiu is a white liquor that is commonly drank in China, this particular one was brewed with turtle and snake and other Chinese herbs. "Gan bei (cheers- I think it's meaning is something closer to bottom's up)" they said, " it is good for the man."

The woman peering over my shoulder turned out to be my teacher's younger sister, and after dissecting my schedule for the next few days she finally asked me for a favor- to meet and hang out with her 17 year old son in order inspire him to speak more English. The family is very warm and welcoming, albeit pushy, a common combination in China. After the first time I met them, in return for my favor of helping her son, who speaks English rather well, they invited me to go to Dong ting hu on vacation for the mid-Autumn festival week.

Her husband and her are both relativly high level local government leaders. While not as rich as those in big business, they get a lot of government perks, like nice hotels and restaurants. The drive to dong ting hu was filled with me teaching them Jewish and Israeli songs, telling them about Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, along with the whole family learning words about driving and cars and, of course, American politics.

Dong ting hu is rather beautiful, it is a large lake with many rice paddy fields, which in the dry seasons are marshlands, and fishing boats scattered throughout. Our first day we went hiking on Zhun island in dongting hu. First we had a tour, hearing about the emperor's number 2 and 3 wives who lived there for many years, seeing the lucky well to wash you hands in, and a few friendship trees. I am not of the details about this place, our tour was in Chinese. Being good hosts, my friends kept telling the guide to speak slower, and directly to me, but it was complicated and my Chinese is not their yet. I paid intense attention and always told them I understood, the easy way out of the situation.

We made our way to a beautiful restaurant in the center of the island and relaxed on the second floor deck drinking tea. When other people arrived and it was time to eat, my friend's father who is the highest leader in the government at the meeting, put his arm around my shoulder and said, "let's have a private conversation." We went into one room with the men at the meeting, about 10 in all, and the women and children went into another. We sat down, like good hosts of any Chinese party, dish after dish was brought out and the glasses filled with snake turtle bai jiu.

"Welcome you to our China," my friend says " gan bei." "Let's drink to our friendship" another person says, "gan bei." Drink to the leader's English level, gan bei." " Drink to learning Chinese medicine, gan bei." " To your Chinese, Gan bei." " Drink to your travels in China, gan bei." One man comes over, holds my hand and says a long speech, which I think was about me having telling all my friends how wonderful China is, gan bei. Another comes over, puts his arm around me speaks of how warm and welcoming Chinese people are, gan bei...to the delious food...gan bei...New York City...gan bei...it is good for the man...gan bei...China...gan bei...USA...gan bei...

Needless to say, by the end of the meal I was a little more than tipsy. But the day was far from over. We got in the car (I was surprised and relieved they take designated drivers very seriously, I assume they have relatively low level jobs, but did not drink a bit) and were off to Yue yang lou, another famous local site. By this time I am rattling off stories about New York, Cherry Hill, my travels, and anything else, in Chinese to my friends, not sure if I am making any sense or speaking clearly.

Yue yang lou remains a bit fuzzy in my mind. I remember it was beautiful, had a wonderful view of the lake, and there was a poem on the wall which may have been written my Chairman Mao, but I am not sure about that it could very well be a much older poem. After a brief rest at the hotel, my head still spinning, we headed out for dinner with a number of the family friends from childhood.

One man filled my glass with bai jiu and welcomed me, gan bei. My friend's grandfather was happy to have me as a guest, gan bei. Everyone was excited I could speak some Chinese, gan bei...Like earlier in the day, they all want to welcome me and provide as much food and drink as possible to be a good host- show their concern with my wellbeing and enjoyment. So after all, gan bei.

The next day, I was surprised at how well I survived, only a minor headache, some dizziness, and a little stomach upset, all better after my noodle soup for breakfast. This day we went to another little island that had many farm restaurants with very fresh food and places to relax, play ma zhong, sit in a hammock, and go hiking. After some napping and hiking, lunch came. They poured me some beer this time, it was a light day but at gan bei, I did not finish. They asked, "yesterday your drinking was very fierce (hen lihai), why aren't you finishing?"

"Yesterday, I think, I drank a little too much."

My friend smiled and said, "no you didn't, you haven't drank too much until you can't walk straight, gan bei..."