Jokes

A favorite topic when in china is mistakes that Chinese language students make when learning to speaking Chinese. Mostly because of the the large number of homophones in Chinese, it is easy to slip up. And I've made more than a few funny ones.

I was ordering soup called pai gu mian which, which means (I think)"rib noodle soup", but I said pi gu mian, which means "ass noodle soup". I find the waiters rarely laugh, although other people in the restaurant do, and somehow I figure out later what I said from my translators or friends. When in a restaurant and you want the check, most people yell for the waiter "lao ban(3rd tone)", but when I said it the other day, I said "lao ban (4th tone)", which means old wife (or partner), what people say to each other when they've been married for a long time.

The same day I was speaking to some of my friends about what I am going to do over the summer break. I said, what I thought was, my wife and I will be in Beijing, but I said "gan" not "gen" and up saying "I am going to f*#k my wife in Beijing".

VIP and Paparazzi

Being an American (I assume any non-Chinese) in China has it's ups and downs. On one hand, you are a minor celebrity, a VIP as people say here, but on the other hand it can be a hassle. Common Chinese people turn into the paparazzi taking pictures of me on the street in their cell phone, I assume e-mailing them to their friends, maybe I even end up on someone's wall. Yesterday in the internet bar, wang ba, the person next to me even turned his camera on me to show is friend the foreigner, probably an American. Everybody on the street comes up to me and asks if I am an American, to keep my sanity, I've developed a few replies, one is just asking if they are American, or else I say I am French, sometimes an African.

On the other hand, being an American is both exotic and people are excited to impress the foreigner. This comes out of, I believe, a real hospitality and friendliness in the culture , but also a local pride to show me the best spots in Changsha, especially a culinary tour of the city, or just treat you special. At the barber shop, i was even given a VIP card, and in the hospital I am certainly a VIP, most people wanting to chat with me, or be treated by me after they figure out I know how to needle. Even at the restaurant, they'll serve the soup when I am there, but when I am not, they just put it on the table. This is the VIP treatment in China.

Sharon, who is a classmate of mine from Touro, is studying in Xiangtan, a town nearby, visited last weekend and we went the Lai feng museum. Lai Feng is a communist character, who was legendary for being a moral and honorable man, but tragically passed away as a young man in a car accident. Conceptually Lai Feng is wonderful, yes, he was a solder, but did not fight in any war, he became a hero through selfless acts helping the elderly old, teaching children how to read, sewing old clothes, snf fixing cars which are all remember in a series of photos in the museum. The government gave everybody two pairs of clothes, but lai feng only wanted one.

The museum itself is run by the communist propaganda committee, really that's what it is called, and I think is used as a trip for kids in school to help them learn how to be good people. Other than the enormous amount of pictures there's also old Lai Feng clothing, shoes, bamboo shoes which he made to not get muddy on his way to school, (that rambuctious young one), his blankets, and statues of his father as a
strong farmer, and his grandfather being oppressed by the landlords. Lai feng was a poet as well, and there was his poetry, and poems written by all the party leaders to him.

Physically it is a large open space, with a really nice gardens, exhibits on how firemen and police, and soldiers al learn from lai feng. 100 meters from the back, you can get to lai feng's house, a comfortable peasant house with 2 rooms, and a chicken.

This open and pristine space stands in contrast to the relatively cramped apartments on one side (not too poor, just older and crowded). and on the other side is a Florida like gated community being built, classically called Since England, because of the English style houses (actually the houses are more spacious adobe, but the townhouses are somewhat English.)

Sharon strolled through the English gardens, enjoying the little statues of old English men in chaps. At the end of the garden was the sales office, and they came out and asked us if we were interested in buying a house. Of course we did, why else would be at Since England. They first showed us the model of the community with the common space, open green, fountains, new roads, and then asked if we wanted a tour of the house. How could one resist.

As drove us to the four story townhouse, set among the small green mountains outside Changsha, in a huge golf cart, we explained that we were in the textile business living in the Changsha, and may be setting roots down in the area, if things go well. This community emphasizes the good life, with ample space for entertainment, a fountain in the backyard and a roof top deck for just hanging out, painting, or tai ji practice. But also it has respectable neighbor's of doctors and lawyer as well as many bedrooms for the kids. The servants room is closely located to the kitchen, but in the front of the house, so they can get the paper in the morning as well, what a great idea. They're only asking $100000, I think a steal.

Sadly Sharon and I had to get back to the city for dinner plans, so we could not see the other unit, which was only $61000. But if anyone is interested in the Changsha area, I recommend Since England.

As I mentioned, Changsha is a smaller Chinese city, with about 6 million in the total urban area, and 1.5-2 million in the city itself. With all these people, you would think it would have more than 1 traffic light. Crossing the street is certainly my largest fear here, the city is broken up by huge 8 lane highways and some have underground passages way to cross, but others do not. It is also arranged around a series of circles hich one must run across, making me feel like I'm living in frogger.

There are not too many foreigners, and I am getting used to people staring at me, or taking pictures of me with their cell phones. Common for little kids to point and yell "wai guo ren" or foreigner, and they don't seem to mind when they find out I know what they're saying. One school child even covered her mouth in awe and said "oh my god" in English when she saw me.

But it is a really modern city, you can get anything here that you can in the US, there's a walmart one block away, which I have to say, is very handy to have there. It's quite Chinese, kind of like chinatown with heads of pigs and drying ducks hanging up, mosquito netting, although with anything else you need.

I made it to Changsha, and it is taking me a few days to adjust to life and the food, dealing with a little of Changsha revenge. It's a relatively big city, with a lot of lights on the hotels, casinos, restaurants, but only about one traffic light. There are huge traffic circles and you really feel like you're in frogger on the streets. There is a native talent though, I think, one has to stay put when the cares are coming at you and they will go around. Nerve wrecking to find out.

Some say Changsha is like las vegas, boxing, gambling, and big blinking lights everywhere. The first night I went to a bar called SOHO, just to remind me a little of home. Had a nice mix of old school hip hop, and also a kareoke, stage which rotated around the dance floor. Oh yea, and they have the largest Ferris wheel in the all of Asia in the center of town. Strange huh?

The campus is in the center of the city, a little greenspace on campus, but not much around it. There's a KFC and MC donlads on just about everyblock, and I am down the street form the Walmart, which I have to admit is quite convient. Very chinese, like if chinatown were in Walmart.

But people do not come to Hunan for the weather or the beauty, hunan people are known for spicy good food and friendly the people. It is also a cradle of national pride with Mao coming from here as well as 7 of the 10 top generals in the PRC. I began in the hospital on Tuesday in the acupuncture department. I get to practice my Chinese quite a bit, although I also have a translator. At Hunan, they have a major for English and TCM, to build an infrastructure for the overseas education, so the translators know TCM and English fairly well. The Chinese are particularly obsessed with comparing the USA and here. If you want to see some cases, check out my other blog.

On Friday I went to synagogue in Beijing at Kehilat Beijing, how could you resist a name like that. Interesting crowd. Many journalists, business people, others are teaching English, working for dot coms, etc. One was visiting from NYC, a neighbor almost, from the UWS, a law prof from Fordam, and he is fullbright scholar. There seems to be a NYC, NJ Beijing connection.

Yesterday I went to the Xidan shopping district to the grand pacific store. It was more crowed than 5am at Macy's on Black Friday. What a market driven
communism. And there were sales, I assume, because it was the same
sign all over the building, 100 yuan off of everything it looked like.
Macy's day, I bet they even have a credit card, but I don't know for
sure. And they have a food court, star bucks, and a fancy pizza hut in
the basement. I was there to buy a "da bao dai" or big bag wrapper, my TCM friends with appreciate that, to make sure my suit case doesn't fall apart on the way south.

I also became an armchair therapist today. At the temple of heaven,
which is beautiful, a young guy, Frank Lee, about 20 years old, who spoke great English, approached me for advice. He came to Beijing to visit his girlfriend over
the break and meet her family. But her family didn't like him, and he was left alone for about 4 days. He even asked her mother if she could come out with him,
he says he was very polite. He said people of Beijing are too snobby,
they don't like to talk to him. So he was upset and didn't know if he
should break up with her. We chatted about marriage, the USA, Taiwan
issue in China (and that is why the US and China won't get along),
loniness of traveling alone, and parents. My advice was basically
talk to her about it, ask her how she feels because you are serious
about her and see if she is serious too. We also talked about eating
dog, he said they do it more in the south, and some of the dogs are
even bred to be eaten and some taste good, although he denied eating
them. He relayed that urban legend of a couple going into the restaurant with a dog and them killing and serving it to people.

I didn't mention that a lot of people have dogs in china, much more than I thought, little furry dogs all through the hutongs. It's
quite funny.

So the temple of heaven is build in the ming and qing dynasties. They
are for praying to the gods and ancestors, so not buddist like
, more Chinese ancestor worship. I got the automatic audio
tour, which is funny because it automatically turns on when you enter
an area, and starts speaking by remote control. It is filled with
communist propaganda, but I honestly agree with it. There is a lot of
engineering of the sound, reflecting it back and forth throughout the
building do things sound louder and softer, or echos. She often said
something like, "they believed the gods did this, but we know it was
the great craftmenship of the workers," or, if there is a god it was
the workers who built the temples, who crafted it this way." Some of the constructions were only for God to walk on, but now everyone can,a triumph of the people.

In a side note, I crossed a 12 lane street today, insanity at it's
best. And ate a Japanese fast food place in the food court at the
mall. I mean really...

My hostel, as I may have mentioned is in a neighborhood form the 12-14th century, called a hutong. Hutongs are historic neighborhoods, that are sadly being rebuilt, but some good comes out of it like indoor plumbing. Some of the richer people have built up their places. The hutong is something probably like the Eastern European Jewish shetl. Old people play ma zhong, if I only knew the rules, I could make a lot of friends, and hang out in the street. And guys collecting bottles and tin roam the
streets yelling something. It's seems very communal and everyone is in everyone's business.

Arrived in Beijing and I am still jet lagged, taking too long of naps, but they are so satisfying. Today I had a great time in Bai
He park and also zhonbai park. This is the China that my Chinese teachers are nostaligic for. It is May vacation week, and there are people everywhere. But everyone is in groups, doing something. They do tai ji, with and without the sword, qi gong, fly kites, line dances, draw caligraphy on the sidewalk, chinese yo yo. There was a chinese line dance that puts the macarena to shame, they have one for every song.

Bai he park is not only the chinese dream, but also the dream of the
people's republic. It was a leisure area and temples for the qing
dynasty emperor. But now it is a public park, and you can walk through
the temples, bring your family there, do various chinese pasttimes in
the open spaces. From the large white pagoda, the top of a buddist temple first built in the mid 18th century (i think) to greet the dalia lama on a visit. And as soon as you leave you step into the hutongs, historic one story chinese neighborhoods, some as old as the 6th century. Being here has a perspective of time passing and the comparison between those in the palace and those out of it.

And I bought my first souvi, two decks of cards with
the famous generals and famous emperors thoughout time.

A historic day, I had my first real conversation, sort of with the clerk at the convience store. She was very patient, not many people are with my
pimsuler skills, she asked, I think, if beijing is expensive compared
to the USA. And I told her no, but I like it here. I said I was from
new york (nue yu). And then I bought pears and apples (that's for Yonni and Frayda, you better be reading this).

I ran into my first starbucks. It is actually really nice,
located on a lake park along with many fancy resturants. It started
raining and I waited under the awning. No coffee for me though. I have
to say that there are many more coffee places then starbucks. Not
coffee shops per se, but stands on the side of the road. I don't know
who drinks it though.

Another funny thing, is there arean't many forgieners in my
neighborhood. I've only seen a handful. Beijing is big, and i think
people think it's not cool to stare at the gringo, unlike smaller
laces. It like new york to many you are more anonymous than anything
else. It's better than way. I walked by the forbidden city today,
which is across from the bai he park and I was swarmed with post card
sellers and rickshaw drivers. At first I was happy that some of the
resturants would have engish menus, but in the end, after being
swarmed, it's definitly better to be anaoymous than a tourist.