The Big Macher

Learning the techniques of Chinese edict takes a long time. I use the word techniques, because there are complex ways which each of the people via for the position of Big Macher as well as being a graceful guest. Obviously Big Macher is a Jewish word- for all those who to not know about it, the Big Macher is an important, usually wealthy person, in the community that will financially help the community and others when in need. The Big Macher commands respect, but they also give a lot to everyone.

Chinese people love to be the Big Macher by treating others to meals, sometimes bringing them on a trip, giving presents, or taking them for a massage. "Qing ni chi fan" means I invite you to eat. In China, the inviter treats the invitee to a meal. To show really how much you appreciate their company, the restaurant is always the best around and the food is abundant, so much that there must be food left over. Interesting, this is combined with a cultural reverence for humility and modesty, so when you thank you host, they always say something equivalent to "what this meal, fa- it was nothing."

At times I've wanted to be the Big Macher, but my skills are not adept. First, the easiest way to be the Big Macher, is towards the end of the meal, sneak off and pay the bill. You can have your son pay, a nice sneaky way. Then when everyone gets up to pay, you can either push their hands away from their wallets (sometimes this is violent) or put you arms around their shoulders and walk them out of the restaurant.

Second, if you notice the food is running out towards the middle of the meal, make sure to order more. This requires careful timing. Also, when your guest is full and starts to eat more slowly, you must urge them to eat more (this certainly contributes to my da du zi, big belly). Even if you are full, you urge them, please eat slowly."

Third, perhaps on of the hardest, is a full on battle for the check. When the check comes, you must fight with the others to pay it, slapping their hands, wallets, and speaking loudly. I am waiting for a full out brawl the next time I go to a restaurant. I am not sure how they decide when to stop, and the bill is never split. I assume they know who is going to pay, it is the Big Macher.